My Pet Head-Rock

This time of year, we frequently hear these song lyrics: He’s making a list, checking it twice. I say, “Wait, only twice? What kind of slacker are you, Santa?” I have long been a fan of making lists. When I was younger, the lists were more of a catalog: the countries I had visited or wanted to visit, clothing items to buy that would complete my wardrobe (who was I kidding? It’s never completed!), guys I had dated. Now that I’ve reached middle age, the lists help me remember what I need and want to do. Yeah, kids, you read that right – I need a reminder sometimes of the things I want to do. That little reduction in memory capacity is waiting for you, too, when you reach middle age. (Hmm… I don’t like the term “middle age.” It sounds so much older than just saying my actual age of 45.) I rely heavily on such checklists during recovery from my craniotomy, but they look a little different now. Initially, they actually looked different without one’s having to read them because ...

My husband and I did not do all of the things I list here, but we realized after the fact that they would have been helpful. 1.      Cleaning. a.      Do all your laundry as close to your surgery date as possible. Make sure that your comfy, lounge-y recovery clothes are ready for you. b.      Clean your house, especially the bathrooms, and change your bedsheets the night before leaving for the hospital. c.      Take out the garbage! d.      If you live in a house, do all or as much of the seasonally appropriate yardwork as you can.   2.      Pay any outstanding bills. You probably have a stack of medical bills sitting around. If you are able, pay off everything you can before surgery because you are liable to forget such things afterward—and you don’t want to pile up overdue charges just because you’re recovering from surgery. This will also ...

The last time I had major surgery was 1991. Pre-operative guidelines have changed since then, most likely based on public health studies showing improved outcomes following increased cleanliness of the patient’s body. To wit: If you are going to have surgery, you will be instructed to shower the night before and the morning of your surgery. Some patients will also be given a special antibacterial cleanser, but others are allowed to use their own products. You are not allowed to apply lotion, haircare products, perfume, makeup, nail polish, or any of the other good-smelling, good-looking stuff. Makes sense. I had a problem or two with this instruction. First off, that’s like an entire week’s worth of showering in less than twelve hours! Don’t get me wrong; I like to be clean and all. But that meant that I had to get up at 4:45 a.m. to do so. Secondly, I have a congenital skin condition known as ichthyosis wherein I’m missing a layer of skin that helps retain moisture, so basical...